You know that saying, When it rains, It pours?

Well my life was a tornado starting Saturday night.  I have noticed that I have let a lot of negativity come into my life and somewhat control it.  Yes, Im italian, and yes, I have a temper, but I would like to think that most of my friends would call me level headed or drama free before a lot of this stuff starting coming around me.  You know when a big storm comes, the weather changes, and a lot of things go together like wind speed direction, temperatures,  and climate that determine how severe that future storm will be... Try not to get lost I swear its important.  Well that WAS my life.  All the drama, all the cattiness, all the shadiness, and backstabbing well it contributed to my meltdown.  Never EVER in my life have I EVER had problems with friends that did that to one another.  I think that is what bothers me the most, I consider some people here like automatic true friends because we share a bond/ a secret, but  I think I jumped the gun with that assumption.  I gave some trust, and HAVE NEVER CONSIDERED WRITING SOMEONE UP FOR SOMETHING THEY DONE WRONG, why?? Simply because I will always and have always had my friends backs, I don't throw people under the bus.  My meltdown came from constantly get bullshit thrown in my face on a daily basis, its kind of like the saying if you live with a crack addict then you will most likely start do crack too.  DRAMA is the crack in my situation (no no one does crack).  My tornado, Tsunami, Monsoon, hurricane, E. all of the above started last saturday night when I blew up on one of my absolute best friends for no reason.  I felt attacked, which is how I feel on a constant basis living on my hall, and I have had enough so I went off.  Me and this girl have NEVER had a fight as long as we have been friends.  I felt so bad, and I apologized because I can admit fault and take responsibility for my actions.  Then Sunday roles around (we will call this the eye of the storm, where most of the damage is done).  Sunday was a horrible day for me, Honestly I wanted nothing to do with anyone, I did not want to see any of my sorority sisters because I knew something had to be wrong with somebody and that day well I was not emotionally there to deal with that.  November 6th and November 26 are just bad days for me.  I am going to be selfish for a moment and just say that those days is when I need true friends the most.  I texted my roommate Sarah Beth that morning and told her about that, and you know what when I came back to school that afternoon, I had the sweetest card and two things of my favorite candy. She's my friend .Then blah blah blah more stuff happens that isn't important, but basically MORE drama happened.   I had to walk around this hallway and watch people cry over not getting a something they wanted.  I had no sympathy because  that was the one day/night that I needed them more then they needed me.  That put aside Monday roles around, crap is just constantly hitting the ceiling at this point.  Basically to sum up Monday, well I got so upset and fed up I was literally sick, like physically sick.  And let me be the first to tell you, it had nothing to do with obvious problems going on, that is just where I took my ultimate rage out on.  Today roles around, and things are finally starting to slow down, like instead of a  hurricane well Tuesday is more of a tropical storm.  I went through many emotions today, Some were like "ill always stand up for myself", "I will let people know when something is screwed up", but finally after spending time with my boyfriend (which is really the only person around here that is stable, can bring me back down to earth and can be level headed) we hung out, and we had an amazing time!!! Spending time with him made the storm stop, nothing else seem to matter anymore, he mad me feel better and all the drama well it went away and I was myself again.  Now after he left I have come to this conclusion.  I will always stand up for myself and whats right, but in that process I never need to lose myself.  I have lost myself, and starting now I am no longer subjecting myself to negativity, and I will always have my friends backs, but don't mistake me as weak because I no longer have a tolerance for bullshit.  Wednesday?? well some people might consider it hump day, but this week for me  Wednesday is the sun that comes out after the storm.  :)