Spread the word to end the word.

I had a dream last night

** I.D.D.= Intellectual and/or Development Disability
** D.S.- Down Syndrome
My dream was that I was pregnant and had a baby that had Down syndrome.  ****I AM NOT  Pregnant!!!! But anyways! For those of you who do not know people who have down syndrome kind of melt my heart, and yes I am fully aware someone with down syndrome is a lifelong care taking and takes a lot of patience.  Still!!! it is one of my goals to adopt a child with down syndrome.  WHY?? Because they are the most amazing, and precious people ever.  It makes me angry to know that  90% of all baby diagnosed with down syndrome before birth are killed by abortion.  WHAT???? 90%????? ARGGHHH!!!!!
A person with an Intellectual and/or Developmental Disabilities are just like any other person, they have feelings, they have a mind (beautiful one at that), they joke, they eat, they breath, they think, and they love!!!!
For someone to abort a baby that has Down syndrome baffles me!!!
Some misconceptions:
1. They will never work or function in the world!! ****FALSE!!! There are programs and school systems that teach basic needs so a person with down syndrome can take care of themselves, work for a living, and even live by themselves.
2. They don't understand us because they are retarded!! *** FALSE!!!!  First of all, DON'T call anyone with an intellectual and/or Developmental disability retarded. One, its not longer politically correct. Two, you don't know what disability they have so you could be judging a book by its cover and that person could very well have normal intelligence and hear you and have their feelings hurt. Three, everyone has feelings whether they understand you or not to make fun of or tease a kid with an IDD, whether its in front of their face or behind their back, is probably the most awful thing you can do in my eyes, I firmly believe you will hold a special place in Hell if you do.  OK back on topic.  A person with D.S. is very much aware of what you say, depending on severity will determine how high or low functioning they will be.  You don't know, and you know what they say about people that assume. If you ever get the chance just talk to a person with Down syndrome.  They have relationships, jobs, they joke, and most have more personality or  are smarter  than some people I know.
3.  "Don't touch them, you will catch it because they have a disease!" ***FALSE!!! ... this might sound awful, but believe it or not, more times than not this is what people think or have said.  A person with down syndrome does not have a disease.  They have a disability. You can't "catch" it.  Yes they look different, but personally I think they are beautiful!!!  This makes me sad when I hear this, a person with D.S. is a human being.  They get put in the background of society because of negative social norms.  This means that people ignore, look away, or avoid people with not only D.S. but with other IDDs as well, because society have perceptions that has made it seem like a person with an IDD isn't "as good" or "worthy enough" or "able" to be apart of our society.  This is not true!!!, and I would keep going but Ill move on.


I want to talk about a program I am in at the University of Montevallo.  Its called Best Buddies. It is where a College aged student gets paired with a person with an IDD and they become friends.   Does this sound weird? or like charity?? well it isn't.  We call our buddies once a week, and we hang out with them on an one on one basis twice a month.  We don't pay for them, they have rides and ways of transportation, so it isn't charity by any means. This basic system creates a bond with a person with an IDD, it creates awareness, and it gives people with an IDD the opportunity to get involved in their community.  The creator's goal of this program is to go out of business. WHY? because he wants their to be no need for a program like this to exist.  He wants it where any person with any IDD are socially accepted and no longer categorized in a lower social class because of their disability.  Beautiful right?! I love this program.  My buddy's me is Nicole.  She is 39, loves bowling she even bowls on the team during the Special Olympics, basically she can kick my butt in bowling, she LOVES Michael Jackson and she knows every word to most songs, she calls herself a performer,   and she loves movies.  I would have to say this program is the most eye opening and enriching experience ever! It gives you a new perspective and you create a friendship that is life long.

Also Best Buddies is supports a cause called "Spread the word to end the word".  This word is Retarded.    Many people don't even realize that we say it, "oh gosh you're being so retarded" or "that's retarded".  Me included, until I heard of this cause I never really realized.  You never know who can hear you or whose feelings you could hurt.   So now I am a supporter of Spread the Word to End the Word.  I am not perfect, I have caught myself saying it, but its time to get that word out of our vocabulary.


This is me and Nicole at a Halloween Party at her school.  Of course she dressed up at Michael Jackson and showed me up on the dance floor.

 On a lighter note.

I would have to say I am more than ready for this semester to be over!!!!  

Just an update:

Just had an amazing Thanksgiving break with my family, and had an AWESOME! 5 day break. 

I have lost a total of 32 pounds, its slowing down so I guess this means that I should start (ugh) working out, is it me or are those two words just like the same as the devil??? Well to me working out is just hearing DEVIL DEVIL DEVIL!!! SAY NO!!!:)

Me and Chase have been together for a month (as of November 28th)... haha yes I am that loser that keeps up with that.

I have way too many days before Christmas break, not only that but TOO MUCH STUFF!! I have two projects (one of which is a final), I have to finish like 20 quizzes for my music class, I have a test in Normal Language, a couple of test in Anatomy, a couple of test in Phonetics, a test in Nutrition. UGHHHHH and only ONE MORE WEEK of regular classes left before finals start!!!! Its times like these that  wonder why I take 18 hours. Just go ahead and take me out back and shoot me.  haha but for real I hope I can hold my sanity until the end of the semester.  

GIVING THANKS!!!

Most people think of Thanksgiving as an accepted time to gain 10 pounds in one day.  Well in my current state of dieting that is not an option for me so I found the deeper meaning of Thanksgiving.
1. I want to make a list of people to thank and I would go into detail the amounts of time, patience, and love they have put into my life but I feel that is not necessary.  They know what they have done for me, just being there for me, making me laugh, always having my back, and going above and beyond in my times of need.
Mom
Dad
Bryan
Beth/ BJ
Breanna
Kelsey
Amber
Kayla
Sarah Beth

- Those are a few that come to the top of my head, I dont mean to hurt people's feelings but these people, they arent in any particular order :)

Next I want to give thanks to the people who I have recently encountered in my life that I feel oh so Blessed to have:
The nephew Grayson :)
The boyfriend Chase
My little Caitlin
My big Jordan
My buddy Nicole


Finally I have to give thanks and praise to the one who gave it all to me :) and that is God.  Without him and the doors he has opened I would have never met the people I have met or be the person I am today.



i hope everyone has a good TURKEY day but most importantly!!!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!

"its Complicated"

Okay So back like a week ago I wrote about my drives to and from Montevallo and how they are the probably the time when I do my best thinking.  Well, I was driving along and thought to myself (I can't tell you how I got to this point, just to be clear I'm random so don't judge) ANYWAYS! I thought to myself, Why does everything have to be complicated?? Especially for women!! This post really only has to deal with how most women think or act, not men.  If you think about it though, for MOST (not all) women, everything is complicated.  A cup might not be just a cup.  Its the cup your grandmother gave to you when you were a baby and you have had it for years, or, a phone call a text from a guy isn't just that "he most def. called because he wants to date me, is mad at me, etc."  Also, a breakup, its not just any breakup, ITS ALWAYS a complicated story.  I am guilty of it myself.  Actually that is what brought me on the thought.  I was thinking about how I would explain why me and some of my ex boyfriends didn't work out, and before I could even finish my thought, I would give up and just think "its too complicated," and then that is how my mind just jumped to WHY does everything have to be complicated?  Men ask/complain/joke all the time about how women are so complicated to understand and it drives them nuts and I had no sympathy for them because as women (even if you dont want to admit it) we are blind to see the mood swings we tend to have.  Driving on Sunday I now see where their frustration comes from because as a women if we can't understand why we do the things we do, then men are just plain screwed on the issue.  But really, why do things always seem complicated?  I kind of came up with the fact that I think most women don't want to be categorized, part of a statistic, or made seem like their situation isn't special.   No women wants to admit what pain or suffering she is or did go through is like any other person's situation out there.  I know its true for me.  Especially in painful situations, for whatever time I need to grieve the last thing I want someone to tell me is that they understand or that they went through the same thing because for that moment there is no possible way in my head that anyone could understand. so I came up with the conclusion that  WOMEN JUST WANT TO BE UNIQUE.  What do you think?? :)  

Advice for ALL MEN!!!! We are ALWAYS right (saves you a lot of time  so just go ahead and swallow your pride now),  Oh and women NEVER want to hear that you understand what they are going through.  As I said before there is no possible way you could,  BECAUSE....

ITS WILL ALWAYS BE TOO COMPLICATED :)

You know that saying, When it rains, It pours?

Well my life was a tornado starting Saturday night.  I have noticed that I have let a lot of negativity come into my life and somewhat control it.  Yes, Im italian, and yes, I have a temper, but I would like to think that most of my friends would call me level headed or drama free before a lot of this stuff starting coming around me.  You know when a big storm comes, the weather changes, and a lot of things go together like wind speed direction, temperatures,  and climate that determine how severe that future storm will be... Try not to get lost I swear its important.  Well that WAS my life.  All the drama, all the cattiness, all the shadiness, and backstabbing well it contributed to my meltdown.  Never EVER in my life have I EVER had problems with friends that did that to one another.  I think that is what bothers me the most, I consider some people here like automatic true friends because we share a bond/ a secret, but  I think I jumped the gun with that assumption.  I gave some trust, and HAVE NEVER CONSIDERED WRITING SOMEONE UP FOR SOMETHING THEY DONE WRONG, why?? Simply because I will always and have always had my friends backs, I don't throw people under the bus.  My meltdown came from constantly get bullshit thrown in my face on a daily basis, its kind of like the saying if you live with a crack addict then you will most likely start do crack too.  DRAMA is the crack in my situation (no no one does crack).  My tornado, Tsunami, Monsoon, hurricane, E. all of the above started last saturday night when I blew up on one of my absolute best friends for no reason.  I felt attacked, which is how I feel on a constant basis living on my hall, and I have had enough so I went off.  Me and this girl have NEVER had a fight as long as we have been friends.  I felt so bad, and I apologized because I can admit fault and take responsibility for my actions.  Then Sunday roles around (we will call this the eye of the storm, where most of the damage is done).  Sunday was a horrible day for me, Honestly I wanted nothing to do with anyone, I did not want to see any of my sorority sisters because I knew something had to be wrong with somebody and that day well I was not emotionally there to deal with that.  November 6th and November 26 are just bad days for me.  I am going to be selfish for a moment and just say that those days is when I need true friends the most.  I texted my roommate Sarah Beth that morning and told her about that, and you know what when I came back to school that afternoon, I had the sweetest card and two things of my favorite candy. She's my friend .Then blah blah blah more stuff happens that isn't important, but basically MORE drama happened.   I had to walk around this hallway and watch people cry over not getting a something they wanted.  I had no sympathy because  that was the one day/night that I needed them more then they needed me.  That put aside Monday roles around, crap is just constantly hitting the ceiling at this point.  Basically to sum up Monday, well I got so upset and fed up I was literally sick, like physically sick.  And let me be the first to tell you, it had nothing to do with obvious problems going on, that is just where I took my ultimate rage out on.  Today roles around, and things are finally starting to slow down, like instead of a  hurricane well Tuesday is more of a tropical storm.  I went through many emotions today, Some were like "ill always stand up for myself", "I will let people know when something is screwed up", but finally after spending time with my boyfriend (which is really the only person around here that is stable, can bring me back down to earth and can be level headed) we hung out, and we had an amazing time!!! Spending time with him made the storm stop, nothing else seem to matter anymore, he mad me feel better and all the drama well it went away and I was myself again.  Now after he left I have come to this conclusion.  I will always stand up for myself and whats right, but in that process I never need to lose myself.  I have lost myself, and starting now I am no longer subjecting myself to negativity, and I will always have my friends backs, but don't mistake me as weak because I no longer have a tolerance for bullshit.  Wednesday?? well some people might consider it hump day, but this week for me  Wednesday is the sun that comes out after the storm.  :)

Brayden Anthony Campbell 11/26/06~11/06/07

Some people never had the chance to meet him, and some people will never know who he is.  Some people might not care, and some people may not remember! BUT!!! I know who he is, I remember how he smelled, his noises, his drooling, and his abilities! I will tell people his story! There isnt a day that goes by that I dont think about him.  This little man is probably the only man in this world that can bring a tear to my eye.  Whenever I doubt, he reassures my faith in God.  You may not know this but if Science made any decisions I would have never had the chance to get to know him.  There has to be a God because that is the only person who could have blessed me and all my family the time we had with him while he was here.  Miracles do happen, and there is such a thing as the power of prayers.  My nephew was truly the best thing.  I'm not mad at God anymore because he took him away so soon.  God took him because Brayden is doing amazing things, he's a guardian  angel for sure!!!  How do I know this? Because even as small as he was he gave so much to my family, and taught my family things that no school, church, or any wise old man could ever teach us.  Something so small, young, and couldnt even talk.  Yes God had to take him away so he could use him to teach other people those amazing things too. Why do I still cry though??? because I miss him, it still hurts, I still dont really understand why, but mostly I just really miss him.

People really don't know what to say or do when I talk about him.  Really I dont expect them to.  I have accepted his death, and now all I want to do it share what he lived, and what I learned from him.  I like talking about him, but people tend to avoid the subject because of the awkward "i dont know what to say." I don't blame them, on the day of his birth and today I dont really know what to say either.   The people who lost the most was my sister and her husband.  Whether she knows it or not, My sister is my hero, I look up to her and I always have.  I can remember growing up and wanting to be just like her.  Get married right out of college, have kids, have her friends.  She is really is the strongest person I know.  They both are.  I can honestly say I dont know what I would do if what she has gone through happened to me, but I know if it ever does that if my sister can wake up and put a smile on her face everyday then I will be able to too. She really is one of my heros, and what she says, thinks, and does really is important to me.  I know I can always call her for anything, and tell her anything.  She will always be there.  I remember one time i wanted to go to visionland but i didnt have enough money.  She took out money from her own bank account and gave it to me.  She was a broke college kid at the time, so although I might have never said thank you, I still remember.  Thats the kind of person I want to be when I grow up!! 

Whats today about???? No Today isn't the only day I think of Brayden, or miss. but you know that saying, "you never know how much you have until its gone." well I guess today just brings back the day he left us, and it just makes me miss him more.  I dont really know if that makes sense.  Today, yes, Its sad, but more importantly its a day I can miss him, and remember ALL the things he blessed me with while he was here.