On the Road again...

I go to school at the University of Montevallo.  That is probably about a 45 minute drive from my home town.  Although I live on campus during the year, I go home very often. WHY??, because I love my family and friends at home.  They honestly keep me sane every week.  Its like a two day vacation year around.  What I love most about going home is the drive.  I know I65 is a hot mess right now, but I absolutely LOVE driving back from Montevallo to Trussville and vice versus. This is 'my time'.  I can let my mind wonder, think about life, jam out in my car as loud as possible ( yes i am that person that you make fun of thats jammin out by themselves).  It just doesnt matter, no one matters at that point.  All stress, all problems, and all bullshit just goes away for that 45 minute drive.  I have come to realize this is the best time I do all my thinking.  I might seem collected but I'm still a woman, my brain constantly works 24/7.  While Im doing one project, Im starting on another, and then planning another one.  I feel like i'm an energizer bunny.  I hate missing things, never want to disappoint, dont know how to say no, always want to fit everything in, and give everything 100%.  Basically, I want my cookie cake and ice cream and I want to eat it too.  But this personality goes hand and hand with being exhausted.  You know what makes it even more exhausting, is that fact that I dont write anything down.  I just dont have the organizational skills for that stuff.  Im what you would call an "organized mess".  And I hate it when people try to organize me.  I have a system, whether you understand it or not its not my problem.  Its like when your mother tells you to clean your room and you do it, then when you go to look for something you cant find it, because its not under your bed anymore.  Anyways, Back to 'my time' .... After my long week/ weekend 45 minutes to myself just to let myself be me is like pure paradise.  To be honest, I havent really felt like myself lately.  Not that I dont want to be myself, but that I cant be myself.  Its like Montevallo disguises me.  I feel alone. (*slitting wrists right?) haha NOO im not emo, I'm happy.  I just dont have 'that friendship' here with anyone, not my friends, sisters, no one.  And being a girl having a Best friend where you spend most of your time is kind of a necessity!!!! I dont have that, I often make trips by myself to places because people dont have time or dont want to. I'm not crying over it, it just makes me home sick! I miss my friends constantly during the week.  Im not dissing the whole "sister" thing, I love my sisters but some arent true friends, some arent friends at all, and some just arent best friends.  This is where the whole being myself thing comes in.  I havent made that connection with anyone because I feel like I cant be who I am.  I was for one night and I swear i annoyed everyone, they accused me of being on crack!! It was sad.  People probably think I am pessimist but really in high school if you knew me I was really happy, hyper, and fun.  I miss those things.  Stability is really what I'm looking for i guess.  Like in high school my best friend brittany we always went to the park and swung on the swing, no matter the season, time of day, plans we had, that was our thing.  Kelsey also one of my best friends we have dancing!! I dont see her often but if we are in trouble she will make plans to make it up, and one of those things is dancing, thats our thing.  And finally I have breanna! Random ass friendship formed senior year but I was blessed to have her in my life.  She is my adventure girl.  Sunday drives, investigating, walmart trips, jam sessions, crazy nights!! thats my ride til i die girl!!! It makes me sad that I look back and now I see myself and I dont have that here, I wish i did but I dont.  Oh well....

My 45 minute drives really keep me together!!! and then they are moments that beat them all and thats when I see stuff like this.....

These pictures are what makes my drive priceless is every way shape form or fashion.

Sorry for the long post, and you know that saying "write it down to get it out" well haha I dont think that true for me.