I got food on my mind

So today is the beginning of day 3 of this new adventure. First day, I thought about food a lot... Like when can I eat next?, will it be good?, how much more water do I have to drink? etc. They are consuming thoughts. I never realized how much my world revolved around food. In all honestly, I wasn't that hungry; however the food I got wasn't satisfying. So all in all this day was hard for me. You know, when I went into my initial consultation, the nutritionist and the doctor  told me carbohydrates and sugar are physically addicting, once you get into habits your body literally mentally and physically gets addicted to them. I didn't believe them then but now...

Day 2: Wasn't very hard either. Now the hard part was when I had to go to the grocery store and buy ingredients to cook my fiancé his lunch and dinners for work for the week. It was so hard not to get gum, drinks, or a tiny snack at the check-out line. It was also hard not to take a tiny bite of the delicious chicken I made. 

Doesn't that look good? ... Well I wouldn't know, but my mom tried it and she wants the recipe so that tells me its probably good. 

You know I must be a really loving future wifey to put myself through this torture so he has a home-cooked meal to take to work. However, I'm not so sure if he loves me very much though, haha, around midnight he gets home from work and I stayed up for him, and about this time I was getting really hungry... and thats when he walks in with MCDONALDS!!!!!! Me and McDs were on like first name basis for awhile. 

All fast-food relationships ended 3 days ago.

Anyways, so I go upstairs and watch them eat their fatty, greasy, nasty (least that what I told myself) food while I sat there and chatted. Then it hit me, I'm in the kitchen. (A little back story, at my future hubby's house they stock their kitchen will ALL kinds of goodies, they even keep a jar of peanut m&ms stocked up and I was a frequent flier to that m&m jar.) Let me tell you, last night it took all my might to convince my brain to not get 1 m&m.

I'm proud to say that I did not have one. It hit me then, I realized that the doctor and nutritionist were right. I am addicted to food. BUT I am also beating my addiction. I am taking it one day at a time, making small victories like: not taking even one taste of the chicken or taking 1 m&m out of the jar. I made myself proud, and I believe recognizing these small steps not only builds my confidence but builds my discipline. 

In other news: This morning I got on the scale and it read that I have lost 9 lbs!!!!!! Is that even possible? Is that real? They told me I would lose weight fast, and that this is an aggressive program... I just have never lost so much weight in 2 day period. My hopes are that I won't plateau, that I am losing weight in a healthy manner, and that at the end of this I don't set myself up to failure and gain in all back.

I took my measurements today and took pictures. It was kind of depressing but it needed to be done. I just have to know that these numbers and pictures are not my forever. I will become a better me, a healthier me, a beautiful me. I don't think I'm ready to share these numbers or pictures just yet.

Here is my inspiration today: a picture of my in a two piece suit... I think it was 3 years ago, but it was about the time I met my future hubby and when I felt most beautiful. 

When I see this picture I think about what my long-term goal is. My body isn't considered perfect but it was perfect for me. 

And the Journey Begins... again

This is new to me.. blogging about a weight loss journey. I am embarrassed to say it, but here it goes... I'm a repeat offender. Alright, that stings my pride. However, it is the truth. I ask myself why blog about it this time? Really, the only answer I have is because I am tired of being a repeat offender. I hoping updating this blog and publicly letting everyone know my progress will keep me accountable. Some of you may or may not know but around ...2012 I was about 60ish... ok ok 70 pounds lighter than I am now.  Sad right? Well I am fully aware. Why did I gain all this back? Well 1. I got happy in my relationship 2. I got comfortable 3. I stopped the routine of working out 4. I entered graduate school and lost my good habits with eating

Any who, so the past is the past and I can't dwell or change it now so let me tell you about the last 3 months...
I joined Weight Watchers in April. I was very motivated and very excited, because like all repeat offenders we go with what works. This time, it didn't work. I worked almost 3 months to only lose 13lbs. You might say "That's awesome". To me though that is like a a droplet in a lake. Not only that but I was not consistently losing weight. I would lose 3 lbs one week then gain the next three weeks in a row. The kicker is I would not change how strict I was on the diet. So sadly, I gave up weight watchers.
Next I tried, low carbs, low calories, only water, and lots of working out... guess what?!?!?! I maintained weight. I didn't lose a single pound.

SO... I think to myself why? why deprive myself of the foods I love most and exercise to the point of being sore 98% of time if all I am doing is maintaining. <- this was about a week ago I gave up.

At this point, I'm desperate to get the weight off; I'll pay big money. *Insert* motivation here. I see one of my friends looks SO great and lost all this weight in 3 months. I'm skeptical but hey I can't help but try. I'm on a timeline.

Present day: I have started my new weight loss journey with Weigh In Wellness. Its expensive, but my happiness is worth it.
I was given a packet yesterday and one of the sheets, which are optional to fill out, said name 12 reasons I can revert back to as to why I want to lose weight. So I am going to share them here.

1. I want to be healthy
2. I want to be able to run again without my joints aching
3. I want to look beautiful on my wedding day and be able to pick out a dress from any style
4. I want to wear a bikini again
5. I want to snuggle with the future husband and not worry about hurting him
6. I want to be light enough that I don't have to worry about weight limits
7. I want to look cute in my work scrubs
8. I don't want to have to worry about untagging picture on Facebook that I look fat in
9. I want to feel comfortable taking pictures again.
10. I want to fit into my cute skinny clothes
11. I want to be able to shop online and not worry about if it will fit.
12. I want my future husband to think Im the most beautiful person in the world.

So there you go. Maybe some of my reasons suck or seem silly to you, but they are mine so I guess when I get discouraged or hungry I'll revert back to these.

I'll update my thoughts on the diet and my weight loss next week. Until then.....

-XOXO-

In Honor of Valentines Day, I decided to update my blog....

Saw This on the Wonderful Pinterest :)...

Ten Ways to Love:
1. Listen without interrupting - Proverbs 18
2. Speak without accusing - James 1:19
3. Give without sparing - Proverbs 21:26
4. PRAY WITHOUT CEASING - COLOSSIANS 1:9
5. ANSWER WITHOUT ARGUING - PROVERBS 17:1
6. Share without pretending - Ephesians 4:15
7. Enjoy without complaint - Philippians 2:14
8. Trust without wavering - Corinthians 13:7
9. Forgive without punishing - Colossians 3:13
10. Promise without forgetting - Proverbs 13:12



1 Corinthians 13:1-13 - Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.




*** Just a good reminder to remember on Valentines Day. 

My problem with winter

If you don't know me then I will go ahead and tell you now.  I absolutely hate, with a burning passion HATE, winter time.  I would rather live in 100% humidity with 100 degree heat everyday of the year than it drop below 50.

WHY???

1. I dont get the sniffles during the summer, because its just so hot outside.
2.  I dont get wind burn on my face from the bitter cold wind, matter of fact the worse thing that can happen during the summer time is a sunburn, least i get  tan out of a sunburn!!
3. I cant drive around with my windows down without getting pneumonia.
4. Going outside to do anything is just a no no during the winter.  ITs just too cold, no matter how many clothes you wear, its extremely too cold.
5. WHen it rains during the summer... I can expect it to be just as hot the next day.  During the winter, it starts to feel good, then it rains and BAM the next day it drops like 30 degrees in temperature. .... NOT OKAY!!!!

"She turned her can'ts into cans, and her dreams into plans"

I changed my Facebook into the Timeline and as I looked back not only did I realize how much has changed but I also found some embarrassing pictures and statuses.  Well for those of you who I have not introduced Timeflies to, YouTUbe them.  It is two guys; one who raps and the other produces the beats.  Well every tuesday the guys comes up with a beat and Freestyle to it.  Sometimes they are holiday orientated, about sports, beer, haha or pretty much anything.  Well this weeks I thought was AMAZING!! Look it up: "Timeflies Tuesday:2011".  Well while listening to this weeks it made think about everything I have accomplished this year.  This is where I have to thank Facebook for the Timeline profile, made it a lot easier to reflect on the past twelve months :)... 


January:
My cat (only pet I ever really knew/had) of 14 years died :(

This is the first semester I was officially an SLP major :)!!!!!!!! 


  Oh and I got an open Bid from Delta Gamma

February:
I got my Big Jordan :)!!! 

Let just skip to April :):::
Two little angels came into my life this month :)!!!! My precious and wonderful Nephew Grayson!!! :) 4/14/11

and my beautiful best friend's baby AYden :) 4/18/11

Oh and I turned 20 (whoop whoop.. NOT)

May:
I got my stuff together and finished my semester with 3 A's 1 B and 1 C.

May-July:
My life pretty much consisted of working under the sun as a lifeguard, working, oh and working :)
 But don't think I didn't make so many  memories I will never forget.

AUgust:
Went on road trip to Savannah Georgia!!!

thats the place we got coffee!!!

I started my quest to losing 70 pounds :)....


September:
Started my Junior year of college!!! :)

Recruitment which was Amazing :)

Oh and hey I got initiated so I officially became a Delta Gamma

OCtober:
 Went to the beach with the best Friend:

I got my one and only Little :)

and fell in love with Timeflies  :)... You know those blessings in disguises?  Well this was the result of one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfAr9DgMB9g&feature=g-all-u&context=G247ff8aFAAAAAAAAAAA

Went with my sister and took my nephew on his first Park trip :)

I was the amazing and always classy Snooks for Halloween :)

Also I met the best, Best Buddy ever!! Nicole :)

November:
 Grayson had his first THanksgiving :)

 My little got initiated

 Bonded with the lovely sisters of DG by the water cooler

Also became the V.P. Foundation for Delta Gamma during 2012

December:
First semester in my whole college career that I didn't make a C.  All A's and B's.  :)

Gotten Broken up with (very good thing BTW)

Had an amazing time with family and friends.  Especially being there to see my nephew's First Christmas.

This year has really gone by fast.  I have cried, laughed, and learned a lot. (cheesy I know).  Earlier I talked about blessings in disguise.  Well I meant that as the people who have come into my life this year that although haven't exactly been the best people.  Well without them I wouldnt know the things i know now.  I think the quote goes "no matter how significant the person is, everyone who walks into your life leaves some kind of impression on you."


Update on my weight loss.  As of Today, from AUgust 22nd to December 28. I have lost 36 pounds



NEw years Resolutions:
As for 2012 this is what I know:
I'm turning 21, and the world is supposedly going to end.

So whats my new years resolution???... Well to simply not settle for anything but the best, to not hold back, and last but not least stay true to myself and my goals.


So as for 2012... BRING IT ON!!!

OH HECK NOOO

I know this isn't exactly the best time of year to complain but I just want to point out that as women we have the power of "bitching ourselves into a better mood".  Most people who aren't me would just refer to it as ranting, to each is its own.  Anyways! I just wanted to make a list of pet peeves of mine.

1. People at Walmart!!!  Im not talking about the random goofy looking people.  I'm talking about the people who have their cart filled to the rim of their buggy that get into the 20 items or less line, while I only have two things in my  hand and they have no thought in their mind to let you in front of them.  REALLY?!?!?! that has bad karma written ALL over it!!! The fact that they have taken the time to get that much stuff to put in their cart means that they should be in no rush to check out!!! NOt only that but then you have those coupon freaks!!!! REALLY???!?!! I HATE THAT EXTREME COUPONING show!!! If you insist on using your coupons, do not come to walmart!! go to your local grocery store and annoy someone else!!! THis makes me so angry!! Its like an automatic Attitude switch for me.  I will literally make rude, snide, and loud remarks about you, what you are wearing, how annoying you are, and  how inconsiderate you are!!!! It makes me SOOO angry!!! ARGHHHHHH

GRRR you people of WALMart

2.  LEts talk about bathroom etiquette.  FLUSH THE FREAKING TOILET!!!!! I share my home bathroom with my wonderful brother and my father and mother use it as well.  Most women who share a bathroom have the  " put the toilet seat down" problem.  We are past this!! I could careless whether they put the toilet seat down anymore!!! I am just trying to get them to flush the thing after they pee.  This applies to women too, COUGH COUGH dorm room!!!  It is not difficult to flush the toilet!!! IT really isnt!!!! 

My thing is that, when I have to pee it just hits me!! like BAM gotta go!!!! and then I run to the bathroom and do the pee pee dance trying to get down my pants in time before i pee myself. In these situations (which happen very often) there is no time to stop and look down to make sure the toilet is flushed!!!

It shouldnt be my responsibility to flush something I didnt produce. 

WHy is this a big deal to me?? WELL that is because when I pee I dont want to potentially have pee pee water splash at me!! EWWWWWW thats so gross!!! Unlike men, women dont have the luxury to pee standing up, so our butts (whether you squat or just sit) are very close to the water.  I DONT WANT YOUR NASTY PEE TO SPLASH AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moral of the story!!! flush your junk!!! I dont care if you dont have to wipe, I dont want pee pee water near my butt!!!! 

3.  Lets talk about bicyclist, well lets not talk too much about them.  I am pretty sure that I can make up some new very colorful phrases if I dwell on this subject too long.  ANyways, Bicyclists should be lucky that there are laws against me swinging my door out while driving and hitting them with it.  Because if I could I would.  I hate them with a burning passion!!!!! "they have the same rules of the road blah blah blah" SHUT THE FREAK UP!!! NO THEY DONT!!!! In the student driver handbook it even says that the must keep as much to the right of the lane as possible!!!!! WITH THAT SAID!!!! I have a special kind of hatred for those bicyclist that bike on popular roads and ride in the middle of the lane!!!! 

If this is you, just know that If i get the chance to pass you I WILL roll down my window and tell you exactly what I think about you!!!

4. People that cannot drive.... I.e. EVERYONE IN THE GREAT CITY OF TRUSSVILLE!!!!  You should leave this city and actually drive on the interstate or 280 or any other city in alabama, because then you would know that how you drive now isn't right!!! My road rage towards Trussville drivers is insanely bad.  This city better be lucky that I know ever kind of short cut or backroad there is in this town, or else I would be beating people left and right for their stupidity behind the wheel.  

AFter all that, I feel so much better!!! Like I said, I can rant myself into a better mood...

HOPE everyone has an MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! I know I did, I loved spending time with my family and friends and I am just very thankful and blessed to have celebrated the birth of Jesus. :)

Spread the word to end the word.

I had a dream last night

** I.D.D.= Intellectual and/or Development Disability
** D.S.- Down Syndrome
My dream was that I was pregnant and had a baby that had Down syndrome.  ****I AM NOT  Pregnant!!!! But anyways! For those of you who do not know people who have down syndrome kind of melt my heart, and yes I am fully aware someone with down syndrome is a lifelong care taking and takes a lot of patience.  Still!!! it is one of my goals to adopt a child with down syndrome.  WHY?? Because they are the most amazing, and precious people ever.  It makes me angry to know that  90% of all baby diagnosed with down syndrome before birth are killed by abortion.  WHAT???? 90%????? ARGGHHH!!!!!
A person with an Intellectual and/or Developmental Disabilities are just like any other person, they have feelings, they have a mind (beautiful one at that), they joke, they eat, they breath, they think, and they love!!!!
For someone to abort a baby that has Down syndrome baffles me!!!
Some misconceptions:
1. They will never work or function in the world!! ****FALSE!!! There are programs and school systems that teach basic needs so a person with down syndrome can take care of themselves, work for a living, and even live by themselves.
2. They don't understand us because they are retarded!! *** FALSE!!!!  First of all, DON'T call anyone with an intellectual and/or Developmental disability retarded. One, its not longer politically correct. Two, you don't know what disability they have so you could be judging a book by its cover and that person could very well have normal intelligence and hear you and have their feelings hurt. Three, everyone has feelings whether they understand you or not to make fun of or tease a kid with an IDD, whether its in front of their face or behind their back, is probably the most awful thing you can do in my eyes, I firmly believe you will hold a special place in Hell if you do.  OK back on topic.  A person with D.S. is very much aware of what you say, depending on severity will determine how high or low functioning they will be.  You don't know, and you know what they say about people that assume. If you ever get the chance just talk to a person with Down syndrome.  They have relationships, jobs, they joke, and most have more personality or  are smarter  than some people I know.
3.  "Don't touch them, you will catch it because they have a disease!" ***FALSE!!! ... this might sound awful, but believe it or not, more times than not this is what people think or have said.  A person with down syndrome does not have a disease.  They have a disability. You can't "catch" it.  Yes they look different, but personally I think they are beautiful!!!  This makes me sad when I hear this, a person with D.S. is a human being.  They get put in the background of society because of negative social norms.  This means that people ignore, look away, or avoid people with not only D.S. but with other IDDs as well, because society have perceptions that has made it seem like a person with an IDD isn't "as good" or "worthy enough" or "able" to be apart of our society.  This is not true!!!, and I would keep going but Ill move on.


I want to talk about a program I am in at the University of Montevallo.  Its called Best Buddies. It is where a College aged student gets paired with a person with an IDD and they become friends.   Does this sound weird? or like charity?? well it isn't.  We call our buddies once a week, and we hang out with them on an one on one basis twice a month.  We don't pay for them, they have rides and ways of transportation, so it isn't charity by any means. This basic system creates a bond with a person with an IDD, it creates awareness, and it gives people with an IDD the opportunity to get involved in their community.  The creator's goal of this program is to go out of business. WHY? because he wants their to be no need for a program like this to exist.  He wants it where any person with any IDD are socially accepted and no longer categorized in a lower social class because of their disability.  Beautiful right?! I love this program.  My buddy's me is Nicole.  She is 39, loves bowling she even bowls on the team during the Special Olympics, basically she can kick my butt in bowling, she LOVES Michael Jackson and she knows every word to most songs, she calls herself a performer,   and she loves movies.  I would have to say this program is the most eye opening and enriching experience ever! It gives you a new perspective and you create a friendship that is life long.

Also Best Buddies is supports a cause called "Spread the word to end the word".  This word is Retarded.    Many people don't even realize that we say it, "oh gosh you're being so retarded" or "that's retarded".  Me included, until I heard of this cause I never really realized.  You never know who can hear you or whose feelings you could hurt.   So now I am a supporter of Spread the Word to End the Word.  I am not perfect, I have caught myself saying it, but its time to get that word out of our vocabulary.


This is me and Nicole at a Halloween Party at her school.  Of course she dressed up at Michael Jackson and showed me up on the dance floor.

 On a lighter note.

I would have to say I am more than ready for this semester to be over!!!!  

Just an update:

Just had an amazing Thanksgiving break with my family, and had an AWESOME! 5 day break. 

I have lost a total of 32 pounds, its slowing down so I guess this means that I should start (ugh) working out, is it me or are those two words just like the same as the devil??? Well to me working out is just hearing DEVIL DEVIL DEVIL!!! SAY NO!!!:)

Me and Chase have been together for a month (as of November 28th)... haha yes I am that loser that keeps up with that.

I have way too many days before Christmas break, not only that but TOO MUCH STUFF!! I have two projects (one of which is a final), I have to finish like 20 quizzes for my music class, I have a test in Normal Language, a couple of test in Anatomy, a couple of test in Phonetics, a test in Nutrition. UGHHHHH and only ONE MORE WEEK of regular classes left before finals start!!!! Its times like these that  wonder why I take 18 hours. Just go ahead and take me out back and shoot me.  haha but for real I hope I can hold my sanity until the end of the semester.